Cultivating a Connected and caring Community in Children’s Sports

“No significant learning ever took place without a significant
relationship.”
— James Comer
​
Jeff Beedy Ed.D
www.positivelearningusingsports.com
www.jeffbeedy.com

In general we involve youth in programs to help develop their personal assets; we want to develop their intellectual, physical, and moral functioning. On the one hand, this seems pretty obvious. What may not be quite so obvious is how this actually takes place. There is a growing body of research indicating that if we hope to develop youth, we must attend to the assets of the communities in which they live and dwell. Specifically, the research suggests that the experience of a caring community is a mediating variable in numerous youth development outcomes. That is to say, we cannot simply “fix-the-kids” by pouring values into them; rather, we must simultaneously seek to develop youth as well as the communities they learn and dwell in. On the one hand, this seems fairly obvious; on the other hand, it flies in the face of the “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, in spite of your community approach” frequently advocated.

Consider, for example, elementary school level research by the Child Development Project, which indicates that a sense of the school as a caring community is a leading predictor of a number of positive character qualities, including: Greater liking for school, greater enjoyment of class, greater empathy towards others’ feelings, greater concern for others, greater enjoyment of helping others learn, stronger motivation to be kind and helpful to others, more sophisticated conflict resolution skills, more frequent acts of altruistic behavior, higher general self-esteem, higher academic self-esteem, stronger feelings of social competence, less feeling of loneliness in school, less use of tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana, fewer delinquent acts, less victimization (Schaps, Watson et al. 1996, p. 43).

In this research we see the sense of the school as a caring and supportive community mediating nearly all of the outcomes (intellectual, social, and moral) that character educators might hope to see if effective — findings that also are supported by longitudinal research on adolescents (c.f., Resnick et al., 1997).

Team as a Community
The experience of community is not accidental to youth development; it is essential. Like members of any quality team, children working together in a program need to feel that their efforts and contributions, regardless of their abilities, are recognized, appreciated, and authentically needed. Likewise, a team will not function to its potential without a level of mutual respect, trust, and cooperation among its players and coaches. The creation of a positive, learning culture is central to the PLUS Program; it is within this supportive environment that children learn first-hand the meanings of the PLUS themes — Teamwork, Respect, Responsibility, Fair Play and Perseverance.

It is important to remember, however, that the PLUS Culture does not simply develop overnight. Building a respectful community takes time, patience and a good deal of hard work on the part of teachers, staff and students. A sense of connectedness to a caring community won’t happen by chance; it probably won’t even happen through good intentions. Community is a lived reality built upon the foundation of human relationships.

Relationships: The Foundation of Community
All learning takes place within the context of a relationship. If pro-social values and skills are the message, then the coach or team leader is the first messenger. Children listen to, respect, and ultimately learn from adults they can trust and believe. In our fast-paced world of cell phones and drive- through fast-food we have a tendency to overlook the importance of quality time and relationships. The PLUS program is based on the idea that coaches and leaders need to develop meaningful relationships with the players if positive learning is to occur.

Human relationships are tricky, sometimes complicated things, especially relationships with youth. Any relationship is a little like a dance: It’s a give and take, where sometimes you must lead and sometimes you must follow. Unfortunately, all too often adults assume the lead in their relationships with youth and never quite let go enough to follow. The PLUS program believes that for adults to have meaningful relationships with kids there must be a give and take; adult leaders must be prepared both to lead and to follow. For example, because physical and emotional safety are foundational elements of healthy relationships, there certainly will be times where enforcement of rules must be ironclad. However, because allowing youth to shape the rules and to have input is essential to their ownership of the program, at times, it also will be necessary for leaders to give youth the flexibility and access to change, add, or remove group rules. To be certain, there will be time both to lead and to follow in any mentoring relationship with kids, and effective PLUS Program Leaders must have the flexibility to do both. If all learning takes place in the context of relationships, the degree to which the learning will be positive depends upon the quality of the relationships. Healthy, caring relationships are the building blocks of a positive learning climate, where all participants, regardless of their abilities, feel both emotionally and physically safe, as well as free from negative criticism and ridicule.

Getting Started — Steps for Cultivating Community
By now, it should be clear that creating a positive learning environment, in which kids experience a sense of community, is central to the PLUS approach to youth development, but how exactly is such an environment cultivated? We know that caring relationships are the building blocks of community, but what exactly do we mean by “community”? For the PLUS Program the notion of community includes at least four critical elements: (1) being known, (2) being needed, (3) feeling safe and cared for, and (4) having a role in shaping the community. We all learn best in an environment that is supportive and safe. Learning new behaviors and trying new activities presents risks for kids.

These risks become even greater when performing in front of peers. People, kids included, enjoy being a part of a group or team where members treat one another with respect, where an equitable system of governance is of central importance, and where community members feel comfortable, and safe to try on new challenges.
The first step in creating such an environment is to provide kids with ample opportunities to get know one another, both as individuals and as teammates. This is especially important in the first several weeks of the program, when kids are just beginning to learn about and to develop positive relationships with one another. Activities like Sports Detective (see Box 3.1) and other introductory exercises are designed to help kids get to know not only the names of their teammates, but also something about them as people — what kinds of things they like and don’t like; what their goals are; and how they like to spend their time.

Helping kids get to know one another is an important first step in cultivating a safe, respectful community. The next step is to collectively establish an appropriate game plan for the group with shared norms and values. The Culture Being activity (see Box 3.2) is the first team-building activity in the PLUS program and is designed to begin this process.

During the Culture Being activity, the group decides what specific norms and values will define the group. These norms and values are described in behavioral terms that everyone can understand, measure, and discuss. Identifying specific behaviors enables leaders and kids alike to better understand how to model the value. For example, if the group defined fairness as “all players get to try new positions and share equal playing time,” then the leader should make sure to model that behavior.

Sports Detective
It’s important to know our each other’s names, but names don’t really tell you much about the person. Even when we think we know someone, we can often be surprised to learn new things. Good teammates get to know one another. They understand what things their teammates like and dislike and what kinds of experiences they have had.

Play
Ask kids to anonymously write something about themselves — something unique or an interesting fact they want their teammates to know — on a piece of paper. (Be sure everybody knows that we’re looking for POSITIVE things about themselves). Collect the papers and make a list on a poster or chalkboard.

Ask kids to open their Player SportFolios and copy the list on the appropriate page. Next, each student acts as a detective, searching for people who meet the descriptions provided on the list. As they search for people who fit the descriptions, they first introduce themselves, ask the questions, and then get the signatures of those who fit the descriptions. The goal is to learn something new about, and to get at least one signature from, each person in the group.
A few sample items are listed below to get the group started:

• is left-handed
• has more than one sister or brother
• had a birthday this month
• has a pet bird
• likes to play soccer
• enjoys reading
• can speak a language other than English
  R&R Huddle (5 minutes)
  Recap by highlighting one or two of the following ideas: After all kids have gotten a signature from everyone else, gather the group together. Were there any surprises? Did you learn anything that you didn’t know about a teammate?
  Reconnect by asking kids to briefly share-out some of the things they learned about each other.
  Reset and transition to the next activity.

Culture Being
The Culture Being is an activity designed to open up kids’ minds to the future of their participation in PLUS. The activity produces a poster with words and phrases that are examples of how the participants feel about their environment and how they would liked to shape it. This Being poster should have at least one comment from everyone or have comments upon which everyone strongly agrees.

Play

1. On poster board have the kids decide on an object or shape to represent their group. Some examples are: an outline of a person, a hall, a book, a smiley face, or a schoolhouse.
2. Using the following focus prompts as a guide, facilitate a discussion about yours and the kids’ hopes and expectations for their experience in the PLUS program.

• One thing I hope we can do this year is…
• One way I want our team/group to look like this…
• One thing that I think it is important for our team to do is…
• One thing I don’t want to happen this year… ​

Other team-building activities include cooperative games, group projects, and problem-solving exercises. These activities not only play an important role in developing a student’s sense of belonging and self-worth, they also help to develop group processing skills. Activities like Respect Posters (see Box 3.3) further kids’ understanding of the GoodSport themes and encourage discussion about the importance of living out values such as respect and responsibility.

Cool-Down Rituals (see Box 3.4) create opportunities for kids to share “put-ups” with each other, rather than put-downs, as well as to exchange small signs of enthusiasm, like “High Five’s” and group cheers. These opportunities help influence the kinds of social relationships that will develop in the program and will greatly impact kids’ experiences, and ultimately, how much they learn.

Creating and maintaining such a learning community is a continuous task. All components of the PLUS program — from the team-building activities to discussion groups — reinforce this effort on a daily basis. The goal is to make sure kids regularly experience all four elements of community — (1) being known, (2) being needed, (3) feeling safe and cared for, and (4) having a role in shaping the community. Without doubt, there will always be issues, incidents and conflicts that will arise. Kids will need to be reminded of the kind of team they have agreed to maintain, and positive and negative behaviors will need to be rewarded in a way that supports the development of intrinsic motivation. Creating a climate of trust and a sense of team will give both leaders and kids the tools and language to deal with conflicts in productive ways.
Over time, and with consistent application of the PLUS Cycle, the various program components will begin to work together systematically. Kids’ experience of the PLUS Culture will deepen, as they learn about and internalize the PLUS core values — teamwork, respect, responsibility, fair play, and perseverance. In the next chapter, we focus on PLUS core values and their accompanying social and emotional skills.

Respect Posters
Materials you will need: poster paper, markers. Optional: dictionaries, magazines, newspapers, scissors, glue.
Break the groups into teams of three or four. Give each team a table to work on (or some open space on the floor), two pieces of paper, a dictionary (or write the definition of teamwork on a chalkboard) and some markers).

Play
Each group will use a dictionary to look up the meaning of respect. (Or read it off the board.)
Using this information and their own understanding of teamwork, kids will create a poster that teaches the rest of the group what respect means to them. The poster can be anything that the teams choose to represent respect. They can create a Being by tracing the outline of one of their bodies on the poster paper, cut out pictures from magazines if you have a collection to use, or make their own drawing. Encourage the kids to be creative. Next, have the kids write words and phrases around their drawing to explain their understanding of respect. They should use their own words to define what respect means, not the words from the dictionary. They also should write words or phrases to illustrate how respect looks and sounds.

Remind kids that this is a team project and they should spend a few minutes planning what they as a team want to create and how they are going to create it. All members of the team should be actively involved in the planning, decision- making, and production of the poster. Allow 15–20 minutes for the small groups to work.
Once the teams have completed their posters, give each group a few minutes to present its poster to the group and to explain their definition, drawing, words and phrases. If time permits, allow some discussion and questions for each group. Hang the posters around the room and refer back to them as often as necessary throughout the program to reinforce and remind the kids of their commitments. As the unit progresses, and kids’ understanding of respect increases, have them add new ideas, words, and phrases to their posters.

Pass the Put-up
Gather the large group in a circle with a bit of space between each student. Explain to kids the difference between authentic and inauthentic put-ups. For example, sometimes put-ups are actually poorly disguised put-downs. Encourage the kids to look for different kinds of put-ups (e.g., for effort, for respect, etc.). Begin the passing yourself to demonstrate how to “pass a put-up.” You can use an imaginary passing motion from any sport — a bounce pass of a basketball, a football pass, a soccer kick, a volleyball bump, etc. Aim the pass at another person in the circle, and as you are passing, give the person a put-up: “Great playing, Robert,” “Good work, Kim,” etc. The receiving person accepts the pass and says, “Thank you.”

This activity may be used frequently to close a session, but for the first few times it is played, ask if anyone has a put-up to share about someone else. After volunteers have shared theirs, be prepared to add a few more to continue modeling how a put-up looks. When this activity has been played a few times and kids have begun to feel more comfortable passing genuine put-ups to each other, the person receiving the pass may quickly pass a put-up to another person, continuing until everyone has received a pass.